15 August, Day 63: "futile", triple word score

More of the same, just chilled on the boat as we cast off to Changa Cherere, more drinking and reading, playing cards or sleeping. I got roped into playing scrabble with the wife and quit about an hour later when all I could manage was crappy-crap-crap words like “go”, “bee”, “noize” (not a word, can you believe it??), “damn” and so on. I mean, come on, I had no less than 3 sets of “i”, one “z”, one “x” (!!) and a “q”. She on the other hand rocked out with classics like “serendipity”, “golden” and “repugnant”. It was quite fitting that the last word she made right after I quit was “futile”. Futile indeed... and stupid... scrabble sucks.

Another sunset booze cruise, this time the sky was the same colour of the water creating the illusion that there simply wasn’t a horizon. It was quite unnerving. And gorgeous: purple hues running into subtle pinks all reflected off the perfectly still water.

At least dinner was worth the wait: Large, man sized T-bone steaks, pap, wors, gravy and relish, bread, salad and spanspek for desertz (see what I did there? Quizillion letter score, cuz I zaid zo!). Huuuuuuuuggh. So.Much. fooooood. Bryan got a standing ovation. Again.

To mix things up, Annelie and I are sleeping on the top deck under the stars. The wind is out a bit tonight but it’s not cold. We lay in bed a long while peering at the constellations through my binoculars. I wish I actually knew all the names of what I was looking at, but it’s all good none the less.

Highlights: Life, the Universe, Everything

[G & A], out

these are my words i’ve never said before

14 August, Day 62: gone fishin'

The bell tolls from the wee early hours. I drag my ass out of bed in time to witness the first sunrise in a while (I don’t make an effort to wake up for these anymore) and I have the camera handy to snap a few good’ns. Coffee and more rusks, breakfast of muesli and yo-gurt (I say YO-gurt, not “yoghurt”), bacon, delicious, sweet, tasty bacon, eggs and toast with a fruit salad. Yes, we really do eat that much for breakfast, and I usually clean up the scraps. Maintaining this magnificent physique takes that kind of dedication...

Bit of sport today: we’re going fishing! Haven’t touched a rod (oh get your mind out of the gutter!) in a good while. Did some light sea fishing a while back with Dan the Man with a Plan on the Isle of Wight. Or is it “white”, I can never remember! Anyhoo, I didn’t catch anything then either and it wasn’t a serious attempt.

Tender boats are loaded up with booze and snacks and a rather funny looking vegetable rack, full of soil. “What’s that?”, I ask. “Bait”, replies Jenny. Spot the rookie. Indeed, the container was filled with soil and earthworms. After a brief lesson on “How to attach a hook to the fishing line without garrotting yourself” we cast off in search of Breem. The other variety that you can catch for sport around these parts is Tigerfish, mean looking critter, big nasty teeth, not very edible though. Mattie, Jenny, Fanie, myself and Marco (...polo...) head off to a secluded, shallow bay while the other tender boat with the girls, Marieke, Marietta and Annelie head the other direction with Bryan. They don’t feel like staying out too long and opted for a quick game cruise instead.

We find a nice spot next to a petrified tree and tie up the boat. I allow the captain to show me how to hook an earthworm onto the hook... eeeew... and cast my line... badly. I blame the equipment, of course, but it turns out I don’t have to cast the bait too fair, I can just drop it over the side. I do so with elegance and grace. In the short time it takes me to actually get my line wet, Jenny has already caught a sizable Breem! Into the cargo hold it goes. Mattie is next and the captain follows with little ones and then bigger specimens, perfect for filleting. Fanie catches up with more, and Jenny reels in another big fella. Me, well, they sure seemed to like my bait! I couldn’t catch anything, and I was on my third worm already (which I put on the hook myself. Eeew.) I decided to try my luck on the other side of the boat and had a few more nibbles. The others in the meantime have caught a ton of fish, Mattie seems to be a natural catching no less than 5 Breems with ONE worm! Dang, he even caught one without any bait.

Lots of smack talking on the boat, of course, mostly from Mattie. I can’t even join in, since I’m so shit at this point. Just then I got one nibble, another insistent nibble and then a bite and I snap back on the rod and start reeling him in! Out of the water emerges the smallest Breem I’ve ever seen in my life (and I’ve seen at least 10 in my career, all in the space of the last few minutes). I smile for the picture anyway, what the hell :) Into the hold it goes. My next catch, a good time later is even smaller! I comment that it’s perfectly ok, since I enjoy sushi very much, and these are already down to sushi portions so no wastage.

And that was the sum total of my fishing experience. The End.

On the way back we spot the a stricken sister boat dead in the water. As it happened, the girls’ quick 20 minute cruise turned into a full hour of floating. The engine didn’t seem to want to start anymore. Kind of a big deal, not only because it’s inconvenient, but because hippos generally fear outboard motors. They fear silent, drifting boats far less...

The captain expertly zigs and zags between the dead trees towards them and we cast them a line (just like fishing! Only without worms). Next, we drag their sorry asses back to the African Queen, stopping in a bay where a croc has secured a drown Grants Gazelle and was dragging it out to water.

Back on the AQ and the boys get busy with the filleting. They also purchased a few more Breem’s from the local fishermen operating in the area, no doubt to make up for my ineptitude.

A delicious lunch of cold meats, bread, jams and a large salad is rudely interrupted by a swarm (of exactly 4) bees! Mattie excuses himself and retires to his cabin. More bees arrive as we piss off the scouting party and we basically have to grab food and retreat ourselves. The little bastards seem to enjoy the orange slices lining the salad quite a bit, so these are removed. We also cast off in an effort to get away from the nearby bee nest. Once the coast was clear, we could go back upstairs and get back to doing a whole lot of nothing.

Halfway to Gordon’s bay (no, not the Gordon’s bay in Cape Town) we stop again for a refreshing dip seemingly in the middle of nowhere before continuing on.

Chef extraordinaire Bryan dazzles us once again with a wonderful setting battered fish (yes, the Breem. Am I spelling “breem” right? Spell checker seems to hate it.) and chips, salad and “Bryans Patatoes”, which I think is potatoes, cooked and removed from their skins, mashed, creamed and cheesed and put back into the skin! Fruit salad and what was left of the custard for desert. We play more cards and drink coffee before tucking in for bed.

Highlights: I caught a fish! Two, in fact.

[G & A], out

You’re my favourite damn disease

13 August, Day 61: Lake Kariba

Didn’t sleep too well, kept tossing and turning. An interesting observation: it’s like trying to sleep in the middle of a giant iron bell! Every movement above deck is ampflied into our cabin and Max has been cleaning and sweeping since 05:00.

The cabin itself is quite nice, by the way. They’ve recently refurbished the whole boat so everything seems quite new. It’s not large by any count but comfortable enough for two people, albeit in separate beds. We even have mosquito nets.

Get up and grab some coffee and rusks, bring some downstairs to the wife (Man of the Year, 2009 nominee, winner of 2008/2007/2006...). Breakfast was pap and wors with relish and a fruit salad for starters. The rest of the day was pretty much what you’d expect. I spent some time in the Jacuzzi, played tennis and squash, caught a matinee on the entertain deck and caught some sun out by the pool.

I am of course kidding. We played cards, drank, ate, ate, drank, ate, read a bit, snoozed, tanned, drank, played more cards, that kinda thing. Later on we all loaded into the two tender boats and headed out of the bay for a mini-game cruise. Managed to see more hippos, a few antelope and elephants and a pride of lions. Yawn... (totally spoilt, I know!). Back on the boat and Captain Marco disembarks towards Elephant Point. He stops when we reach the “middle”, or rather “far from shore” so that we can take a dip. Very refreshing! We’re only allowed in the water in areas far away from shore and too deep for hippos and crocodiles. The water here is also some of the freshest in the world. Back on the boat, hit some more suntan action and snoozing while the captain continues to our destination. He guides us gently through great big forests of petrified trees, their white gnarly branches reaching out of the water like skeletons.

Anecdote: I have a morbid fascination with dead trees. Seriously, I’ve got at least 500 pictures of em, from all over. I think I may need counselling.

A few other house boats operate on the lake; I spotted a MASSIVE 50 Pax monster towing no less that 4 extremely large power boats. So when we arrive at Elephant point it’s a bit of a scramble to find a nice secluded bay, out of site of the others.

Around 17:40 we all load back onto the tender boats, witness yet another Epic African Sunset (Yaaaaaaaawn....), the sky on fire and reflecting off the lake. Oh how droll, wake me up when my martini is ready. Back on the boat and more drinking with cards and snacks.

Bryan the Magnificent cooked the best damn lamb joint and roast potatoes we’ve ever had! Topped with a most delicious gravy and punctuated with a fresh fruit salad desert and custard. I stopped eating only once ALL the food was gone, it was unreal. Even more so, if you consider the little kitchen it’s all prepared in. Bravo Sir, Bra-vo [slow clap].

Highlights: Has to be the lamb joint

Just chilling and chatting and getting some me-time

Gnarly dead trees!

[G & A], out.

Still a lil’ life left inside of, me