No sleep. None. Nada. Nie eers ‘n bietjie nie.
The catch with a backpackers lodge is that it’s generally expected. The assholes kept playing LOUD obnoxious music till 6 o’clock in the morning. I got up at 04:00 to take a leak and to check it out, and there was a grand total of 7 people there: 2 blonde chicks and 5 guys. I took stock of the situation rather quickly and decided that the reason the entire camp was losing sleep was entirely down to the 2 chicks who wouldn’t just go to bed, with or without one of the cavemen trying to score. Remove the blondes, and the whole party will collapse. On the other side, some guys just can’t get their shit together. Close the deal or call it a night, if you’re STILL trying to score by 04:00 (hell, by 01:00) it’s not going to happen.
Meh.
So. No sleep. On a day I would have really liked to have some. Wake up bleary eyed. I take solace in the fact that at least one of those idiots are hanging out their asses today.
Coffee and rusks jala-jala, grab my jacket (for in case it’s hella cold when we get back), sunscreen, rocking my swimming trunks (leave the banana hammock in the tent. Uganda is not ready for its glory) and head to the truck. Everyone piles in and transported to the other backpackers lodge for breakfast. Quite a good setup they have, hard boiled eggs, chapattis, toast, butter, jams, honey, coffee, bananas. Bees everywhere, as in, IN the honey and jam. That’s really fresh honey! I make another banana-jam chapatti and try to store up enough energy for our 30 KM, all day long boogie down the Nile. Luke and the Danish babes (Sanne and Kathrine, NOT Sienna and Catherine as I spelt it yesterday) are there and join us at the table. We also meet 2 lads from London, Paddy and Tom. They’re doing some interesting shit out here! Basically it’s a bicycle powered cinema they trek around the country and have viewings at various villages and so forth. I later found out that they started with a similar thing back in London, where they cut the power and the whole club is powered by the patrons, peddling about 6 bikes. They stop, and the music dies. Pretty awesome, checkit: www.CitiesInTheDark.com. Tom is doing a documentary about it all. I also found out later that they’ve covered quite a few interesting events in Kenya (was it Kenya?) like a bike race. Funny story, I should tell you sometime...
Anyhoo, we chat more about what to expect today. Annelie and I watched the video of yesterdays group at the bar/lounge last night and... ja. It’s gonna be wild.
One of the guides calls us to the grassy area and gives us the run down. Gear around the corner, no loose items, expect to get wet (duh), sunscreen, sunscreen, and sunscreen, make sure you sign your indemnity form etc.
Grab a life jacket and nipple-pink helmet. Lather on another layer of sunscreen, the sun is already out and ferocious! Ons gan lekker kak vandag. Back on the trucks and busses, take off the life jacket and helmet cus it’s blistering hot and we’re off. We travel over a dam and then into some more rural villages and dust roads for about half an hour before we arrive at the launch point. Lots of activity there already, with more trucks towing the inflatable’s arriving in waves. I kept feeling like I was in the way! If it wasn’t an inflatable dropping on my head I was getting run over by huge rafts with legs. Bunch of local present too, doing their washing in the river. I’m sure they’ve seen this exercise countless times: the guides shouting out instructions, rafts being inflated and deployed and lots of white people with more money than sense or brains looking both excited and nervous at the same time.
We’re told that we need to make groups of seven, and as luck would have it, we were! Annelie, me, the other Souf Afrikan, 2 Danish babes and the London Massive. Instructions are to find our guide, Paulo and report for duty. Off we go. I try and organise a team name for us. Nobody likes “Chocolate Puma”. I call us “Chocolate Puma” for the rest of the day anyway.
Paulo was born in Jinja (probably in the Nile, I comment. He agrees). He’s such a cool laid back Ugandan, super dry sense of humour and a damn good guide at the end of it all. He takes us through the motions, the various commands he may use, like :
“hard left / hard right” - everyone on the left / right side of the boat
“get down” – stand upright and do the Robot, or any other sweet, sweet ass disco you can manage. Kidding, it means get your ass in the boat, and hold on for dear life
“Lean in” – grab the rope, paddle locked between your arm, side of boat and lap (as to not whack yourself / someone else with it) and lean to the centre of the boat
“Take a breath” – we’re going under, inhale
Forward – all paddle forward
Backward – all paddle backward
Left forward, right backward / right forward, left backward - ...
Hard forward – give it horns! No no, keep both hands on the paddle, just paddle really hard (and still do horns, for extra points)
Stop – stop (now, what’s that sound, everybody look what’s going down. Yeah, EVERYTIME that song played in my head)
Run through these commands a few times. We’re spread out evenly over the boat, 2 front, 4 middle and 2 back. Paulo does the steering. The boat gets flipped deliberately so we can get a feel for it. We spend some time underneath the flipped boat just to see it’s perfectly safe, boat gets flipped back while we hold on to it (so we duck underneath the flipping flipped boat, popping out the other side.). Get a few rounds of practice getting back into the boat, how to help someone get in the boat, how to work the entertainment centre, order chicken or beef. We also learn about the kayak support team. These guys are super quick in the water and they’ll be the guys saving your bacon in the event of an emergency. We are shown how to hang on to the front and the back (if you hang on the back, you must help propel the kayak by kicking).
Before long we’re all off, all 88 of us cruising down our first rapid! A mere grade 2, nothing hectic at all. Fun! The next rapid is a grade two which we bail out and swim through, just to feel what that feels like. MORE fun! I’m beginning to think I may just swim the Nile instead.
Back in the boat and we find our first grade 4, which is the rapid I spent some time with swimming yesterday, at our camp site. We pretty much nailed it, but it was a bit rougher than the grade 2’s. Cheers all round and everyone feels much more confident about doing this thing. Go Chocolate Puma! (still doesn’t catch on). Rib Cage was next, so named due to the shallow rocks lurking underneath. This is exactly the reason that, when you’re inside the boat that you should kneel, since rocks can hit us from below. Ideally, you’d want to stay in the boat for this one, and fortunately we do.
Time for the training wheels to come off. Our first big grade 5 of the day: Bujagall Falls. Lots of shallow rock and a backwash that will strip the white from your teeth. No worries, we totally own that shit.
before we get to a biggie: 50/50. So called, since there is a 50/50 chance we’ll flip. Feeling very confident in our river mastery, we boldly give it horns. And flip the bejeezes out of the boat! In the drink we go (just chill, don’t fight it, wait for the life jacket to pop you back up). I laugh my ass off. This is really so much fun!
A few little rapids in between, total gunga and surf city before we hit our first grade 5 of the day: Silverback! Just like the gorilla, this is one big hairy mother. Before each rapid we all park off in little eddies or capes, outside the current to wait for the videographer and support boats and Kayaks to get into position. During this time Paulo goes through how we are going to approach a particular rapid and what to expect. Things like, should you fall out, try to stay with the boat. In other cases he advises that you get away from the boat as quickly as you can, and so on.
The other boats make a circuit and approach Silverback, one by one. We go “ooooo!” and “oooow!!” and “should he’s leg bend that way??” as we wait our turn. A few boats make it with flair. Another note about some of the bigger rapids: they usually have 2 or 3 approaches. So they can be sub rated as a 4 and 5, for instance, depending on the route we take. We opt for maximum carnage!
Off we go, “Hard forward”, HARD FORWARD, GET DOWN! My stomach sticks in my throat as we’re plunged 2 meters into a torrent of white water, filling the raft instantly. White knuckle grip on the rope, everybody is screaming. Somewhere in the distance I hear a maniacle laughter, and realise it’s me!
About 2 hours later we clear the rapid, in one piece and floating! W00t! (I watched the video afterwards, it was more like 10 seconds. Time is relative when a ton of water is trying to kill you).
In between fighting for air and screaming like little girls, we paddle to the next bad boy, Jaws. I don’t recall it being a especially tough one, but the same sequence of events apply: stop, have a chat, line em up, into the grinder, sink / swim, full joy.
In between the carnage, there are 2 lull periods of gentle paddling and just floating down stream. These little interludes are partly due to the new hydro electric dam being constructed, so the flow of the Nile has been altered. The sun is blazingly hot, so these respites are a perfect opportunity to re-lather with the sun cream and take a little splash off the boat. Also a good time to get to know your neighbours and we make chit chat about this and that. Oh, and it’s also cheesy joke telling time! Paulo has a wide repertoire of both PG and filthy cheesy numbers and coupled with his dry soft spoken Ugandan demeanour provides ample in flight entertainment.
Over lunch time we dock with the support boats, each with one oarsman. To see these guys in action is a marvel in itself. They stand upright in a inflatable that’s almost double ours and row with these massive wooden oars. To watch them fly over the rapids with such non chalant grace is a real treat. Lunch is a light affair of a quarter pineapple with glucose bisquits (that’s how I say “biscuits”). They chop pineapples in quarters, slice them along the skin and chop the quarter into about 7 pieces. The pineapples where sugar-sweet, right from the husk. Also took some time to drink water (not like we needed MORE) which is tied to the back of our raft.
“Forward”. Lots more fun to be had. The yellow make a line for the shore, they’re on half-day rides.
Retrospect , Bubogo, Itanda falls, followed by Bad place (also known as Kalagala falls). It doesn’t take an expert to figure out why it’s called “Bad Place”.
Vengeance, Hair of the dog, Kula shaker and Nile special are next (little lull and more paddling in between).
And then, Other Place.
The big boy, the grade 6 and last rapid of our journey. I’m really struggling with the words to try and describe the sheer malice and power of this thing. You have rapids in rapids folding onto waves of white water 3 meters high. This is after you’ve plunged 2 meters off a waterfall, of more violent water of a river that will (WILL!) kill you if you attempt it. We approach the death trap with caution and paddle “HARD FOWARD” towards a rocky outcropping off to the right where we disembark and walk around the first 100m of the “Other Place”. You can’t hear the person next to you without screaming at them, the roar is deafening. I think my mouth must have hung open at some stage, because I swallowed a bug. For our last test we will be rafting the final stretch of this long violent rapid.
It will consist of 2 parts, a hard forward before a get down into the first wave, that drops us about a meter into a backwash of white foam. If we make that, we’re in for a treat: another hard HARD paddle into the next 2 meter drop and hopefully a clean exit out of the maelstrom. Expect a breath-in because we will take on a ton of water. If you fall out, get away from the boat and safety. And enjoy your swim.
Other helpers have carried our boats across the DMZ to where we can launch again. We watch 3 other groups go first. One makes it, two bug out on the first drop. Kayakers have their hands full mopping up victims. Here we go!
HARD FORWARD!! STOP! GET DOWN! (at least, that’s what I think Paulo said, I couldn’t hear shit over the deafening roar!). My stomach gets caught somewhere in the tonsil region and I can barely get a “W00t!” out as the raft grabs some serious airtime before slamming into a 2 meter wave going the OPPOSITE direction!
Pause... (in mid whimper)
Anecdote: it is inconceivable that water can flow violently in BOTH directions at the same time. I ponder this as a cling white knuckle to the rope secured to the raft. The only object keeping my soft, tender meat sack away from the Aqua-Grinder outside the raft!
Play...
Down we go, water in the boat (which is a good thing, gives us more stability) and we cling on for dear life. Screams, I think. Few seconds later we’re out and everyone is still here. HARD FORWARD again, GET DOWN for the big one. UP and PLUNGE down. Then something goes wrong. We’re still here! I mean, sure, we’re still here, but I mean we’re STUCK in the rapid! Smack bam in the middle and being shaken like a kitten by a pit-bull. Screams. “HANG ON!” The raft is caught in the opposing forces of two very, very strong waves, momentum pushing us into the left, then slamming us into the right. Wash, rinse, repeat. And again. And again. I get knocked halfway out of the boat, manage to hook one leg back in. I ditch my paddle and cling onto the rope with both hands. Screams, horror (we’re not moving out of it!!). I consider maybe ditching the boat and flushing out to safety. I get knocked halfway out and back into the boat again. I quickly scratch that idea. More and more momentum, more water. More screams. The raft starts tearing apart, the middle supports coming right out. That’s when the raft folds up like a clam shell and Annelie pops out. I notice this almost immediately, but can’t do anything about it. Something in that folding action must have granted us enough momentum to crest the wave that kept us in limbo, because a few seconds later we’re out and over. And exhausted.
I scan around franticly and see Annelie’s yellow helmet bobbing above water, legs curled around the nose of a canary yellow kayak, and safe. She looks winded and very shaken, but conscious. We make eye contact and I make a fist sign above my helmet (are you ok??). She replies with a fist above her helmet.
Phew.
Cheers and laughter! LOTS of cheers and laughter. Still worried about Annelie, but I reconfirm that she’s ok. We pick up a few stragglers that were thrown from other boats and they help us paddle upstream to shore.
Meet up with Annelie, shame, she really took a beating. Thought she was drowning at one stage, but that she remembered what Paulo said, in that don’t fight it, just relax and wait for the life jacket to pop you back up. Good advice. I give her a hug while she chokes back tears. We share a moment before heading up the hill to the busses and trucks waiting for us. Catch up with the others, Mattie, Dirk and Fanie. They had a great time. Dirk’s patent to keep his glasses on his face worked beautifully.
Load up and agree to meet the others for that killer BBQ waiting for us at the camp site. Arrive back at NRE and dish up: spit braai lamb, dices of lamb, rolls, pastas, sauces you name it! Get some Nile beer and park off for a chow down. Man, best ,meal ever. Luke, Sanne, Cat, Paddy and Tom join us and we laugh and joke about the day. And what a fantastic day it was. Finish up and hit the showers, agree to meet back at the bar before 21:00, when our video will be shown. Later on, I grab my book and get everyone’s details. More drinks and lots of interesting conversations. Sanne and Kathrine may be in Zanzibar around the time we’ll be there, so we agree to meet up. More drinks, feeling tired!
At 21:10 we cosy up in the lounge area to watch our movie. Lots of “oooows!” and “aaaahs!” and cat calls as we get a third person perspective of the day’s events. Goosebumps. Last rapid, that bad bad “Other Place”. I reset my tachymeter and begin timing as we enter the 2nd part, tastefully overlaid with Foo Fighter’s “All my life” (I think it’s called “All my Life”, I forget).
1 Minute, 6 seconds.
I lose the bet, I thought it was 30 seconds. Way out! Lots of WHOOP-WHOOPS all round!! Best part of the whole damn video, I tell ya! I shovel out the $30 and buy the unlabelled DVD on the spot.
As an aside, it was such a shame I couldn’t take a camera. SO many good pictures out here out there on the water, of huge fish eagles swooping down to catch their prey (distant calls echoing off the water), impossibly beautiful vistas, storm clouds rolling in, king fishers... etc. In the same breath, it would be impossible to truly capture the majesty of everything we saw today. I am truly humbled by the Nile’s beauty, and violence.
Tonight we close the bar, staying behind with the London guys (the others have all made off to bed, we say our goodbyes and good lucks). Whiskey, whiskey and more whiskey before we call it a night at 02:00 and bid the two dynamic Britons a good night.
Got my iPod out, since tonight there is a huge party at the bar down the road, next to the camp site. Don’t care, I’ll be sleeping like an absolute baby tonight.
Linkage, for a gallery and info, since I didn’t have my camera on me (damn shame, but it would have been ruined): http://www.raftafrica.com/rafting.htm. I’ll have to show you the video when we get back to civilisation. :)
Highlights: Experiencing the world’s best white river rafting!
Not killing ourselves!
Feeling the weight of history and awesome beauty of the Nile river.
[G & A], out
All my life I’ve been looking for something.
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